The very first time I heard “Better Man” by Pearl Jam play on the radio, I could have sworn I heard Eddie Vedder sing:
…can’t find the butter, man.
And ever since I’ve been singing it that way too, unable to break the habit even though I logically know the correct lyrics. In fact, I screw up a lot of Pearl Jams lyrics. “Nothing Man” has turned into Muffin Man on more than one occasion.
Closely listen to these songs and try to tell me that Eddie did not do this shit on purpose. We all know he wrote them both while enjoying a buttered blueberry muffin at Dunkin Donuts.
My biggest fear: If they sing those two songs back to back in concert, I’ll be royally screwed. Because I know that at some point while I’m minding my own business and singing along, bad things are going to happen. The entire band will freeze in place, the stadium will go black, a huge spotlight will drop to my head and thousands of blank stares will look toward me as the band collectively screams, “HEY YOU…YEAH YOU WITH THE RED FACE…YOU FAIL!”
*whimper*
“Black” is the only song by them that I refuse to screw up, only because that would be considered blasphemy and I’d have to cut off my own head as punishment.
…her legs spread out before me, as her body once did
*cuts head off*
Don’t hate me, Pearl Jam – I love you!
Other made-up lyrics my head seems to create:
Coldplay – Fix You: “…stuck in reverse” is now “stuck in a hearse” because that SO makes sense, ya know?
Nickelback – Rockstar: “And a king size tub, big enough for ten plus me” kinda turned into “And a king size tub, big enough for ten to please me.” I dunno, maybe my brain really wants to see this occur in the worst kinda way.
Live – Freaks: “You know your sperm is weak” I swear to all that is purple, when hearing this song for the first time I seriously tought he said, “You know your perm is weak”. I honestly cannot believe I just admitted that. Either way, the song is fucked in the head and the video even more so, which is one of the many reasons why I love this man in the worst/best possible way imaginable. I like to think that their only drinking milk in the video, but um, yeah…”Got Semen?!” 
Okay, I know I’m not the only one who’s misheard lyrics…lay ‘em on me!
One Response for "Misheard Lyrics…"
Until well into my adulthood, I thought, “You’re the one that I want” from Grease was actually “You’re the Wellawaloo”…a bit embarrassing, really.
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